FRIENDS AND FRIENDSHIPS…

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Hi everyone. So here’s one really interesting and lovely topic, as it applies most likely to everybody and i’m sure you would be able to totally relate with this. Friends&Friendships play a very very vital role in our lives as a whole because i really can’t imagine one living a life without friends. According to John Donne~ “No man is an Island, entire of it self; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main”, of course yes! No man is an island. Nobody can ever be self-sufficient. We all in one way or the other need and depend on each other to grow, achieve and move forward in life. Now that’s where good friendship comes in to play its role. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10~ Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friends can help him up. BUT PITY THE MAN WHO FALLS AND HAS NO ONE TO HELP HIM UP!). It goes on to explain in verse 12 that “a cord of three strands is not quickly broken”.

So basically, friends are people known well to another and regarded with liking, affection, and loyalty, who normally have certain shared interests and aims in life. The truth is that you can never feel comfortable and fulfilled with being friends with people who you don’t share common views or common aims with unless a compromise sets in, of which i don’t encourage compromises because compromises usually causes extra damage( i stand to be corrected). The friends you keep within close range easily tells the sort of person you are, as there’s this popular quote: “show me your friend and i’ll tell you who you are”They also act as a mirror to our lives in the sense that friends identify with each other and exhibit a “singleness of mind”. They start to act like each other if you have noticed because for myself, i noticed that i tend to unconsciously absorb some traits from my friends i’m fond of and this is an important component of friendship you can’t do away with. So you have to be really carefull in the choice of friends you make, as they somewhat help to shape who you are and who you become later in life. If you mingle with a companion of wise people, you automatically learn to be and become wiser and the same thing happens if u mingle with a companion of foolish people, you automatically learn to be and become more foolish. It’s just as simple as that. (Proverbs 13:20, Proverbs 22:24-25). Good/healthy friendships are to be sourced for. There should be no room for unhealthy friendhips, so i’ll also be sharing with you the characteristics of such good/healthy friendship.

Characteristics of a good/healthy friendship. 

A good/ healthy friendship;

  • has God as its basic foundation.
  • upholds and sustains good virtues, values, ethics and codes of conducts.
  • has the qualites of genuine love, trust, loyalty, patience and oneness.
  • is an asset and not a liability. It brings about growth and progress of the individuals involved both morally as well as intellectually.
  • aims at bringing out the best in each other, the individuals involved engage in joint pursuits.
  • aims at a “win-win” outcome and not a “win-lose” or “lose-win” outcome of individuals involved.
  • dwells more on its strengths rather than the weaknesses and in the long run turns out the weaknesses to strengths.
  • never lacks constant appreciation.(always appreciate your friends).
  • helps one develop a new understanding of his/herself, it aids in self-discovery.
  • are not always a bed of roses, they sometimes undergo healthy arguments and quarrels but still remain firm no matter what.
  • finally, lasts forever. 🙂

If your various friendships lack the above qualities, then they are unhealthy frienships and i advice that you pray on your own, then talk things out with your friends and set your priorities right. But if they still seem not to be making efforts to be better or not yielding progress and continually being a set back, i on the same note advice that you cut such friends off and head on to mingle with the right people and start off new friendships. Never forget to make God the first foundation because his foundation can stand the test of time. Good friends are definitely blessings from God.

Should incase you still have questions to ask or you need to gain clarity on certain issues bothering you, just feel free to send me an email ( agaruwa.uchechi@gmail.com) and be sure to receive a reply. Also if you’ve got contributions you would like to share with everybody, you just go ahead and post your contributions as comments below. Thanks and have a blessed day! 🙂

~Mary Agaruwa

STEPPING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE…

Hiya!… Okay so this post was quite impromtu, i had something different on ground to share with you all but this one kinda just kept raring its beautiful self in my heart, reasons best known to God. Nevertheless would still share the other one some other time because its noted already. Hmmmm, stepping out of your comfort zone!

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Comfort zone as the phrase literally implies is an environment of comfort, a state of physical ease and freedom, that cozy state of relaxation. Yea, many of us have and enjoy our various comfort zones, its just so cozy and comfy that you think you’ve achieved all the necessary, so you think its time to relax. No!!!..The irony here is that this comfort zone brings discomfort, uneasiness, inflexibility and many limitations. The truth is that whatever level you find yourself in now, is the least you can ever be no matter how far you think you’ve gone in life. My dear, life is a continous race until life dies. The comfort zone is a big time muderer of great potentials. If you see yourself doing a routine or not achieving something new each day, then you are humbly balanced like a king in your comfort zone. Identify your comfort zone and step out, if you have to jump, jump out or fly, fly out with immediate effect. Your comfort zone could basically be that activity you spend so much time with that yields lesser result or doesn’t yield growth/add to your life or doesn’t cause a change for good in your life. You just have to try something different from what you have done before, it leads to discovery of new things. A person who doesn’t fail has not tried or learnt anything new. For example; When you’re badly hungry, you obviously need to eat something to quench that hunger, right?.. thereby making you to go get/look for food to eat because you don’t expect manner from heaven to drop into your mouth, isn’t it?.. So Being badly hungry in this context is like the COMFORT ZONE, Knowing you need to eat to quench your hunger is like your POTENTIAL, then GOING to get or look for the food to eat simply implies that you’ve STEPPED OUT OF THAT COMFORT ZONE. Okay so if you know you need the food to quench your hunger and you dont get up to go in search of food, what happens? The hunger persists, starvation sets in and most likely worsens the situation. That’s what the comfort zone does as well( it persist if not stepped out from, causes starvation of potentials, hinderances and limitation and doesn’t make you any better).

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My advice to everybody out there reading this is to boldly identify what exactly your comfort zone is, quit the fear of the unknown and step out into great possiblites and opportunities. Use your time wisely!…Remember time waits for no one and procrastination is a muderer of time. I know i’m also sometimes guilty of that too but by the special grace of God, i’m making amends 🙂 . Do the same too if you’re guilty. I know you are!..lol.. just allow change to take its course and make amends. You can do it!!!… Good morning and have a blessed weekend! 😉

~Mary Agaruwa